Are winners really grinners?

I suppose I had to come back to this point at some stage in the blog. I've skirted around the idea of what parents want and what kind of young adult we were "producing". So maybe we needed to think a little more about what we really wanted. It wasn't until I started reading "The Road to Character" by David Brooks that things started again to clarify and solidify in my mind.

I liked that Brooks sees us all as a duality of materialistic, ambitious side in competition with the moral, altruistic side. He refers to the materialistic side as "Adam 1" and your altruistic side as "Adam 2". As I was turning the pages I found this mirrored the observations that had initially made me start this blog. The emphasis (by parents, some teachers and schools) on the materialistic, ambitious side of a students behaviour is pushed during their time at school. This is the mechanism that creates the so-called winners. We already have adolescents that have a unique view of the world and way of thinking, and then push them towards gaining materialistic goals. Everything they do at school and at home is all about self-promotion. But are we perhaps being a little short sighted? At present we end up creating huge egos that can and often are self-indulgent and entitled. We praise all gains and glorifying them regardless of importance, and then wonder why we have students who consider themselves "8 foot tall and bulletproof". This is an expression I have often heard which relates to the extreme risk-taking version of students/adolescents that embrace this narcissistic attitude and lifestyle.

The funny thing is society rewards the "Adam 1's" of the world, but seems to look disappointingly at the "Adam 2's". It seems that the economic side has gained much more ground than the moralistic. I do not deny in any way that there has to be part of you which embraces your "Adam 1", but reading any social or printed media seems to strongly suggest that as a society we have given a little too much import to them and increasing the number of our youth aspiring to emulate. Brooks also tells us that a study of middle school girls showed that the vast majority would rather be a celebrity's assistant than be president of a prestigious institution like Harvard.  

To me it shows how short-sighted we have become in thinking about what is best and what we want our children to be like in the future. If we again consider the happy, well-adjusted and successful version that many parents want, then surely a more long term plan needs some serious thought. It seems that we "train" or children from an early age to be self-promoting and self-absorbed so that they have material success. So from where I am sitting, the materialistic and ambitious side is winning the battle (if not the war).

I now wonder:

• sort of message I am sending to what my children and my students?
• why we place soo much emphasis on fame?
• if famous now equates to famous later in life?
• what happens to our youth after fame disappears?