I posed the question of a noisy child in a movie or theatre. You are sitting and hearing a child misbehave or scream out while you are trying to watch and listen. A hypothetical for most but it actually happened at performance of "King & I". The audience then proceeded to blame the mother for the child's outburst. The child was autistic and this seemed to generate greater anger against the mother. The actors response was quite interesting and I have included it here. I think that many of us forget that social norms are learnt, and most learning is done by doing. Too often we forget that our learning was also slow and done by exposing us to different experiences, some if which we handled well and others were memorable for all the wrong reasons. Thinking back, I can reflect on my first visit to a live show, and the fact that I too was a little "squirrelly" but remained quiet for fear of embarrassment rather than anything else. We have taken the selfish route many times and saw what was best for us forgetting the patience that was part of our parent's repertoire during the learning process.
Most learning for children us mimicking the actions if others around them. If they are constantly surrounded by adults, they can copy the actions and examples they witness. But far from solving the problem, could it in fact make it worse? I have written about the role of play in childhood learning and the real social learning that occurs. Children do copy the actions of their peers, but they also form their own little code of "right and wrong" and other social mores by these interactions. Allowing them to take the ownership of these is seen as positive rather than the imposition by others, including parents. I think that in many ways we get it wrong by imposing rather than allowing a "more organic growth of morals and ethics" especially as they enter teen and even pre-teen ages and begin showing a sense of responsibility.
Perhaps teh Germans have struck a more realistic and effective way of doing just that! The article in the Wall Street Journal (linked here) provides us with a situation where kindergarten-age students are taken into the woods by their teachers. The general aim is to provide students with the ability to develop "independence and social skills". The students learn from each other and the challenges that arise, with teachers there to stop them hurting themselves. I wonder how many western parents, or for that matter those from Hong Kong, would entertain ideas to allow their child to be involved? It does come from good thought and understanding of the role of experiential learning and its importance in child development. Surely this provides an "organic growth, more so that a more traditional lecture based approach adopted by most parents. I wonder how this approach handles the tantrums mentioned earlier, and if it indeed solves this? I think the quote below sums it up so well ...
In rule-bound Germany, growing up is surprisingly rule-free. Parents send 5-year-olds to the bakery alone on Saturdays. Children typically settle their own disputes on the playground. And kindergartens are legally bound to try to develop their charges into self-reliant individuals.
We are all searching for ways to promote social growth and the development of a moral compass in our children. Using control or well-being is simply changing the focus, and I seriously wonder if the learning through play (or experiential learning) is indeed the solution. After reading about the German experience and then its ongoing benefits, in place of the more helicopter approach that is so common here and in most other western countries, I would be advocating for a trial at least. Lets try to assist the development rather than simply getting in the way. Would you be game enough to give your child such an opportunity at Kindergarten age?
Most learning for children us mimicking the actions if others around them. If they are constantly surrounded by adults, they can copy the actions and examples they witness. But far from solving the problem, could it in fact make it worse? I have written about the role of play in childhood learning and the real social learning that occurs. Children do copy the actions of their peers, but they also form their own little code of "right and wrong" and other social mores by these interactions. Allowing them to take the ownership of these is seen as positive rather than the imposition by others, including parents. I think that in many ways we get it wrong by imposing rather than allowing a "more organic growth of morals and ethics" especially as they enter teen and even pre-teen ages and begin showing a sense of responsibility.
Perhaps teh Germans have struck a more realistic and effective way of doing just that! The article in the Wall Street Journal (linked here) provides us with a situation where kindergarten-age students are taken into the woods by their teachers. The general aim is to provide students with the ability to develop "independence and social skills". The students learn from each other and the challenges that arise, with teachers there to stop them hurting themselves. I wonder how many western parents, or for that matter those from Hong Kong, would entertain ideas to allow their child to be involved? It does come from good thought and understanding of the role of experiential learning and its importance in child development. Surely this provides an "organic growth, more so that a more traditional lecture based approach adopted by most parents. I wonder how this approach handles the tantrums mentioned earlier, and if it indeed solves this? I think the quote below sums it up so well ...
In rule-bound Germany, growing up is surprisingly rule-free. Parents send 5-year-olds to the bakery alone on Saturdays. Children typically settle their own disputes on the playground. And kindergartens are legally bound to try to develop their charges into self-reliant individuals.
We are all searching for ways to promote social growth and the development of a moral compass in our children. Using control or well-being is simply changing the focus, and I seriously wonder if the learning through play (or experiential learning) is indeed the solution. After reading about the German experience and then its ongoing benefits, in place of the more helicopter approach that is so common here and in most other western countries, I would be advocating for a trial at least. Lets try to assist the development rather than simply getting in the way. Would you be game enough to give your child such an opportunity at Kindergarten age?
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