Pushing Kids to 'win'

I suppose we are now starting to get to the centre of things. The problem with pushing kids too hard or too early is well documented. But that has not really stopped parents doing it. So I ask again, why do we push our kids so hard? I really think that we do things with good intention, but sometimes we can send the wrong message at the wrong time. Children, especially younger ones are very impressionable and willing to follow and mimic our every action and word.

Is it:

• trying to put them in a position to gain future success?

• trying to live our lives through them?

But are we really doing the right thing? According to Lynn Margolies, Ph.D in her article on PsychCentral

Pushing teens to be the best is well-intentioned. We worry that they will be left behind in a competitive world. But the notion that being the best and having the most brings happiness is an illusion (Crocker & Carnevale, 2013). And future success is not determined by good grades, Ivy League acceptances, or inflated self-esteem (Tough, 2012).

But does it do any good? I wonder if this is a sign of 'helicopter parenting'? This seems to be really common condition in my society today. I know of students who have the day fully planned for them, and anytime there is a problem with academics the response is 'I will organise tutoring for ....' Its almost as if the student will do something 'silly' if they have some free (or should I say unplanned) time! 

I wonder how successful this really is in generating productive and creative members of society? It is an interesting thought and made me seek an alternative viewpoint. I found it in an article by Sally Sara (in a series on ABC News - http://www.abc.net.au/news) about the lives of influential Asian Women - this one about a Mongolian mother, Sevjid Damdin. Her thoughts are simply given as

"Our people say, 'Let children be children' otherwise they cannot think freely. Little children should be able to learn everything their own way. Don't tell them, 'you can't do this, stop this and sit here and be quiet'. We are against that one. We say, 'Let them be free'.

At the moment, educators are closely examining the system that operates in Finland. There is no formal schooling (as we know it) until the child is ready. How astonishly opposite to the systems that operate in most western societies? All early childhood education is about holistic thinking - physical, intellectual, language, social and emotional taking equal importance. A big push in this area is also "learning from play". So its refreshing to note that the real rigours of traditional of schooling can wait.  

I wonder if we dare do this in our society?

• Could it stifle or could it promote resilience and creativity?
• Why are some schools in the US promoting playtime for students?
• Why are the most successful education systems like Finland, allowing students to learn when they are ready?
• Why have schools opted for a technology free time for middle school students during break and lunchtime?