The language of resilience

So following on from my last last blog, I want to spend a bit more time on the language of building a positive mind growth attitude and resilience. It seems easy when we do it, but we have to remember that we are battling against our natural instincts and everything we have learnt. It will not be as easy as you think considering the indoctrination we have already gone through in our own lifetime.

From: http://thoughtfullearning.com/blogpost/get-smart-become-talented

So is there much to change in what we do? The simple answer is no! But it is a change in the way we think. Every instinct we have tells us that we must train our children to win and we do it by praise and learning the language of winners. Using language that implies completion, or more precisely that "they are there" is as natural as breathing. "Sally aren't you clever .." is heard on a daily basis. However, as we realise things are not in absolutes and there are 'shades of grey" that exist in all things we do. With our neuroelasticity we can keep adapting and learning, and this is the key to creating a growth mindset. So in essence you look at rewarding the process rather than the result.

I know that there is not really much difference between "Sally you are clever" and "Sally,  I like the way you think"? In terms of praise, no, but in terms of meaning yes! Both offer positive re-enforcement, but growth mindset language implies it is good but further improvement is still possible. This I particularly like as it allows for future growth! If the challenge is slightly different or more challenging, the impulse to "give up" will still be there but the feeling "to give it a go" will also be there.

To some this sounds a bit like learning from our mistakes rather than looking at how good I am now. But if we again go to the basic principle I mentioned was behind the education system of Finland "students learn when they are ready", I think it all makes more sense. If a student is not ready for a task on the day, then a fixed mindset tells him (or her) that they failed. However, in reality they might need a little more time or practice so they are really "in progress or not yet ready", if we think using a growth mindset. I know from experience which student will continue developing, it is not rocket science as many if not all students feel dejected if we use the term and this negatively impacts their future growth.

If you would like to read more about growth mindset, I suggest Even Geniuses Work Hard by Carol S. Dweck.

Now I think its time to think about
Do I promote future growth and resilience in my child?
Do I praise using a fixed or a growth mindset?
Would I be prepared to try using growth mindset language?