The identity and stereotypic image of a bully has begin to change. No longer is it only the alpha males of females and other members of the cool brigade - I realise that I am stereotyping here, but I do believe that many of the bully types are promoted by the wider society. I have noticed that in the past few years, that many who I would have previously considered to be likely victims have now become bullies. I think that the pressure to conform and other peer group pressures have made it easier for these students to quietly slip into that mode. I think that it has become a defence mechanism rather than a genuine wish to become a bully. In a way it goes back to the winners and losers debate that forms the basis of this blog.
The aim of most students as they go through their time at secondary school is to remain "as invisible as possible". Bringing attention to yourself, can be an unwanted and unwise. After all no one really wants to be a target. The obvious solution to many is to deflect and disappear. By deflection, I mean to provide an alternative target. However, this does have costs to both themselves and the new target.
The costs I refer to are chiefly of the moral and ethical kind. It is very easy to justify doing something even when we know it is wrong. If we were a previous "victim", them we have a good understanding of what it means and "feels like" to be bullied. It becomes easy to justify in your own mind the decision to deflect rather than be bullied, and I wonder what my decision would be in a similar situation? In their own minds, there is not an ethical problem, but in some we see empathy and ethical considerations rise and this can be problematic for them. Friendships and alliances built up can just as quickly disappear and this tends to have students live and think for the day - rather than planning for longer time periods. I suppose the survival instinct kicks in much faster than the empathy drive.
I really do wonder:
- how prevalent the deflection process is?
- how many go from being bullied to being a bully?
- if this is a temporary solution to a problem and not an ongoing condition?
- if being a bully equates to being a winner?
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