Slow Parenting

The whole idea of slow and steady seems to be lost on many of us. Life is hectic, yes, but does it really have to always be that way? Have you ever seen or heard someone rushing and totally planning the whole day for each and every day of the family holiday? I wonder how many of us have to learn how to relax?

The article on slow parenting made me stop and wonder what I was doing! The interesting thought

that I got out of it was that the parents are really the ones who cannot stop and use their children as an excuse. I think the quote beside says it all. We have lost the real purpose and push of parenting and are in danger of ruining the lives of our children. I like the comment by Honore, that children are now being "project managed" rather than parented. But at what cost? When you consider the rise in incidence of depression and self-harm, surely it is time to reconsider our approach as it is obviously not working.

I suppose I reflect back on my childhood and think of the most important thing my parents gave me - the value of time. We learnt how to relax and the importance of both "family" and "me" time. How quickly we forget that time is something that cannot be used again!

We live in a highly scheduled routine and seem to find it difficult when taken out of the "zone". The last holiday I had, I really felt that I only began to fully relax mid-way through. If it is that bad for us, what must it be like for our children? We are successfully creating a new generation of "workaholic" like individuals who believe that time spent doing nothing, is time wasted. This whole precept goes against the underpinning notions of mindfulness and well-being. Leisure is really a learnt art form and we as adults have not really passed on the secrets. The real problem with our actions is that a whole generation has no idea what to do when they actually have leisure time!

The outcomes of this are self evident and so well pointed out by Carl Honore - but I think that the micromanaging of the children has a lot to do with this problem. I think it is almost a case of parents being unable or unwilling to trust their children with the precious gift of time. Without some form of support rather than an imposed structure, they do resort to substance abuse and other negative behaviours. It is almost a given as they have been given little or no real practise by their parents. Perhaps then it is time to resort back to really teaching our kids the value of time and leisure. Are the consequences of letting them slowly have more 'me or leisure time' that dangerous given the options? Surely guided leisure is a solution to the problem as it will allow us all the opportunity to slow down.

I really wonder if:

• I encourage my boys how best to use leisure time?
• I over manage and regulate the time too much?
• I have lost the ability to relax and really slow down?