Risky behaviour

I keep reading if all the 'risky behaviours' that are part of the college students life. This if course causes consternation in the parenting community, but I wonder how much is to do with being 'overprotected and under prepared'? The concept of residence and its development has been a concise the theme in my blogs. I think that observations in my many years of teaching have shown me that some students are lacking in this, and I think the blame lays squarely on our shoulders. By that I mean parents, as they should be the providers of this important skill.

Unfortunately the idea of 'being prepared' has changed somewhat over the years. Once being ready to leave home meant that we had the skills needed to survive independently. So the parents 'taught' their children the basic skills and strategies to become resilient. So we are sending off teens not fully trained  in making decisions and adjusting to new situations they will encounter. Is it any wonder that we read and hear about far too many incidents of risky behaviour occurring? The under prepared wobbly and shift course enjoying what can be their first instance of 'unstructured and in many cases unsupervised play'. A dangerous mix if the internal boundaries have not been set by years of practise. 

Now it seems, for many, that being prepared revolves more about pushing the self promotion without allowing for the self actualisation to occur. A generation of 'entitlement' can be gained by 'following the route and ticking off the boxes'. The self belief is not matched by the ability, and for the first time self doubt arises. Being suddenly independent at this time makes them feel even more adrift and poor decision making can easy step in. We know that the community and surroundings of any person will have a marked affect on behaviour, especially considering the "peer effect". Things that they would normally not contemplating doing in one situation are fair in a different one. So throwing a group of teens together in a largely unstructured environment can quickly lead to greater risk for the unprepared. 

I mentioned the social and emotional importance of play throughout a child's life in another blog. The 'unsupervised' (by adults) and unstructured play allows them to see the boundaries that exist in terms of safety, and children quickly respond and develop their own 'moral and social compass'. Surely it is preferable to have them experiment at a younger age than in the adult oriented domain of colleges? I remember the bruises and scrapes associated with this, but I also remember having a series of boundaries in place at a relatively early age. But in saying this I will point out that I always had to provide details about where I was and who I was with. So although I was not always in the company of adults, I had the loose tether attached which allowed me to still be in some form of 'contact'. And all of this was in the days before mobile phones!

But on the "flip side" studies of the brain show that maturation of the various levels develop or mature at different times. So the region responsible for controlling impulses and risky behaviour is not fully developed until late teens and beyond. This of course will be a generalisation and the 'time of onset' will probably vary. The brain is pliable and if we make the connections and re-enforce them, perhaps we can assist in the development of this important region. However, it is a hard thing to "teach" with many teens exposed to the facts, but that does not in any way guarantee that they will not try risky behaviours. I do think that providing alternative outlets for their adrenaline search is a good way to provide safer alternatives.

There are lots of helpful hints and advice sites to be found on the web, but I was taken by the simple and straightforward approach found on the Australian Parenting website, and I also like the reminder that if you are really concerned contact a professional.